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Baptismal Dress
Do you know anyone who has lived on a hanger almost all of their life? If you know me then the answer is “yes”. I am ahead of myself; let’s go back. Once upon a time…wait! That’s not the right way to start this! Back in 1824…No! No! No! That’s not the right way to start this either! Oh yeah, now I remember how to start! Well, it all began in the factory… with machine sewing at speeds of 10mph. When I was kinda getting used to the racket, I was shoved into a cardboard box and locked up tight with tape. I suddenly felt myself rising in the air. I must have been having good luck at that point in time because, when we were shoved into the box I was shoved in last, which meant I was on top. Now, that we were being hauled into the back of the delivery truck, my box was being thrown on top…again! I heard a “crash” and automatically knew that the workers had closed the delivery truck. I felt all alone in the dark even though I knew that I wasn’t alone. At least 5 hours passed and I began to get a little drowsy. Later that night, I woke up hearing a Screech! and heard talking and realized that they were not kind and soft like the worker’s voices were. These sounded unpleasant, evil, rotten and dangerous. I was extraordinarily frightened. I realized what the screeching noise was; it was some gang trying to break into the moving truck! Now I was really scared that we were going to be robbed! The truck stopped with a big Eeeeert! I heard a door open and close, which meant the driver was getting out of the truck to see what all the commotion was. When he got out, there were 3 hideous men standing right next to the truck with a crowbar. They tried to act innocent. At first, the driver fell for it, but when he saw the big hole in the truck (which I was looking from, because there was also a hole in the box) he picked up his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1 and told them the whole story. The police were there in about 2 seconds and had them arrested right away! 3 weeks later those men made it in The Babbler on the front page!
The next day was more driving………the day after that…… more driving! You know, I was really getting tired of this driving thing! I felt like screaming “Get me out of this box or I will rip you to shreds!” “EEERT!!! ,” The truck went. I cried with happiness. “Finally, we are at the store!” I was so happy! “Hmmm, I wonder what store we will be going to?” I thought to myself. When we were taken out of the delivery truck my question had an answer. I looked out the little hole in the cardboard box and saw that it was Castro’s Memories. It felt good to know that I was going to breathe real air instead of cardboard junk. It also felt good to know that I was going to get out of this stupid box. When one of the workers opened the box, the light struck my eyes. Ooooh, it felt so good to get out of that smelly box. “Ouch! Ow! Watch it!” I said to myself as one of the workers put me on a hanger. I was taken to a rack and I was hung. At first I was excited to be on the hanger, until I realized how BORING it was!
I finally started to go to sleep as the manager started locking
up the store. 5 years later
I heard a jingle as two people walked in with a son and a little baby girl looking for a baptismal dress. The people walked over to my rack and the woman said, “Conrad, don’t you think Roxane would look absolutely adorable in this baptismal dress?” He replied, “How much is it?” She answered, “30 dollars.” “Then let’s buy it1!” he said. They took me up to the cash counter and bought me. We walked to their car (well, I was carried but anyways) and got in.
We got to their house in a matter of minutes. I was put on a
hanger (again!) and hung up in a closet. 5 days later I was taken out of the closet and ironed. “OOOOOOW!!! GET THAT IRON OFF ME!!!” I screamed to myself. Finally the woman finished ironing me. I was put on the baby girl. Then I was put in the car where I was smashed in-between the baby and the car seat. We got to a stop and the baby and I were taken out of the car. I saw the biggest thing that I had ever seen in my whole life! Oh, yeah that was a church. I was taken inside to see some people and a man in a white bathrobe! I would be awfully embarrassed to be in front of all these people in a bathrobe! I was carried up to the bathrobe man and he said some kind of speech and then took me and the baby up to some pool. Then he put some pole thing in the pool and sprinkled it on the baby! I was astonished! I can’t believe he poured water on a baby! What is his problem?! Everyone except for the baby and me got on their knees and said something I didn’t understand. When we got back to their house I was put back into the closet. (About 26 years later…….The same thing happened with the baby who is now the mother of the baby who also used me.) And that is my life time story, well, at least for now! |
